I remember when the Angry Video Game Nerd（AVGN) announced he was making a movie. Out of everyone I knew who liked the AVGN, I was the only person who thought the movie was a retarded idea. The movie came out and it was a pile of buffalo diarrhea. Despite how the movie turned out I actually think I was wrong. See, I thought the idea of an AVGN movie was retarded. People now say the same thing, “How could you make a movie about the AVGN?” They dismiss the idea just like I did. Recently I was thinking about it and realized there could be a few ideas about an AVGN movie that could work. Don’t question what I think about in my free time.
I don’t mean the movie we actually got. Conceptually that movie is a piece of shit. Red Cow Arcade made a “fixed” edit that had to cut out 50 minutes of the movie to “fix it”. Even then they didn’t fix the movie. There is no fixing that movie, without massive script edits and rewrites. Some of the issues from the movie might pop up in the ideas I will pitch. This is because a lot of the issues with the AVGN movie come down to script organization and writing, not just the many many many concepts. It’s clear the script didn’t have any other eyes on it other than yes men. Anyone who wasn’t a yes man would’ve asked these questions right away: Who the fuck is Cooper? Why does the Nerd need to work at Gamestop despite being one of the most famous celebrities? Why the fuck did the military need to know where that guy lived in the desert, despite having his house bugged? What the fuck was that ending fight? Why did you copy and paste this bit of dialogue throughout the first 30 minutes?
Some people have suggested replacing Cooper with Mike. However, that doesn’t fix the issue at all. Since Mike isn’t an established AVGN character, but James’ real life friend. Same with Bootsy. If you used Mike or Bootsy you still have the same question, “Who the hell is this character?” Others have suggested replacing Cooper with Kyle, or Guitar Guy. This fixes the issue of “Who the hell are they?” but instead adds these issues:
Why the hell does a guy who lives behind the Nerd’s couch care about the ET game?
Why does he care about the Nerd’s reviews at all?
He’s only been shown to care about his guitar and the couch. The Nerd has no friends. Why would he go on a road trip with the Nerd to prove ET isn’t buried in New Mexico?
The movie we got:
The real AVGN movie is a piece of dog shit, no doubt. The plot is a confusing mess because James couldn’t decide on an idea past there must be an ET review. It’s about the Nerd’s shitty GameStop job, until it’s not. It’s about Cooper trying to learn how to be a Nerd, until it’s not. It is a road trip movie, until it’s not. It’s about the Nerd trying not to fall in love with the woman, until it’s not. It’s about a corporation trying to trick people into buying ET 2, until it’s not. It’s then about the ET carts buried in New Mexico, until it’s not until it is again. It’s about a giant kaiju trying to destroy the galaxy, until it’s not. It’s about the issues with fame the Nerd has, until it’s not.
The only two plot points that aren’t thrown away are: The military is after the Nerd to stop him from finding the ET carts and how an alien that crashed on Earth is trying to leave. As you can see the movie has so many concepts fighting for its run time. In fact, it’s so conceptually convoluted/clogged that I needed to make this paragraph. Just so it was easier to read due to all of the “until it’s not”s. The movie collects plot points like they’re fucking Pokemon. It also ignores them like said collected Pokemon rotting away in Oak’s PC.
The road trip movie idea – Being super famous:
Doing a road trip-esqe movie with the Nerd is conceptually a hard thing to do. The Nerd doesn’t leave his room and has almost no reason to go on a road trip. My pitch for this road trip movie is to have the Nerd kidnapped by obsessed fans. This also works with the idea that the Nerd is some crazy super star too. Something the movie desperately wanted to push, as the weirdest case of a Gary Stu I’ve ever seen.
The movie could start with the Nerd out buying beer when a fan approaches him and asks him about playing the ET game. The Nerd can then go on about how the game has permanently scarred him and he refuses to play it. When leaving the liquor store the fan, and his friends, would then kidnap the Nerd after knocking the Nerd out. He then wakes up in their car and fights to escape from their car and rolls out of the moving car in a random city far away from his home.
The Nerd then tries to get a flight, bus, train, etc back to his home but he has no money, and the fans stole his wallet. So the nerd needs to hitch hike back to his home. This forces him on a crazy adventure to get back home. Getting kicked out of cars for being rude and shitting on games people like or escaping from obsessive fans. There’s also the possibility that the Nostalgia Critic is hunting him down to finally finish off the Nerd once and for all.
This idea would allow him to meet Cooper as one of his few non-crazy fans who would rather help him than possess him. It still gives the Nerd a chance to be the straight edge to the crazy people he comes across in his adventure. James could also slip in a lot of horror elements with this concept too. This idea still allows him to review ET and plays into one of the concepts that was in the original movie. The issue of being too famous and having obsessive fans. You can use the obsessive fans for the horror elements to show how hard it is to be that famous. You can also have the car chase scenes and a lot of the other scenes from the released movie in this version. They’re just now under a few ideas:
How hard it is being this famous.
Obsessive fans demanding he reviews ET
Going on a road trip with the Nerd.
The NWC movie idea:
One of the weirdest AVGN episodes is the Nintendo World Championship episode. In this episode the Nerd calls a guy named Pat the NES Punk and tries to con him out of his NWC cart before they decide to play for the NWC gold cart stashed in a box the Nerd got from eBay. This episode kind of has the same issue of ”Who the hell is Pat?” However, the idea of Pat VS AVGN for the NWC carts could’ve been a great movie.
The movie could start with the Nerd looking into getting an NWC cart but constantly losing the bids. He then goes to a game store where people are crowding around Pat as he is playing a game and doing really well at it. Pat is giving a semi review of how the game has some flaws, but it isn’t that bad. The Nerd gets upset and unplugs the console to shit on him for liking the game, and the game itself. After a back and forth between the two Pat could pour a soda, or something, on the Nerd like an 80’s villain and leave the store laughing. As he leaves you see a poster on the door about an upcoming game tournament to win an NWC gold cart. Nerd asks who he is and everyone says that he’s Pat the NES Punk. The guy who is the best Nintendo gamer, ever, and is going to win the tournament to get the NWC gold cart and complete his NES collection.
The Nerd then needs to raise some money to enter the tournament. While raising the money Pat comes by and mocks him. You could even have Pat hop into a car and drive off while putting on some shades. Just heavily leaning into this 80’s movie style. The second half of the movie is the video game tournament with Pat getting increasingly worried about the Nerd. Down to hiring someone to ruin the Nerd’s chances at the tournament. Eventually Pat and the Nerd go against each other in the tournament, finally playing NWC. Then just like the review it ends with the Nerd pulling out the cart smashing it. He then just leaves the tournament after his rant with Pat being left shocked.
With this idea you could have Kyle encouraging the Nerd to do the tournament so he can sleep peacefully behind the couch. You can have Mike as either one of the few people who helps the Nerd or one of Pat’s cronies who helps Pat try to stop the Nerd. You could also have Pat hire the Nostalgia Critic to screw over the Nerd too. This one has no ideas from the movie we got. It’s just 100% new ideas that are like an 80’s movie. Over the top acting included.
Another Road Trip movie – The Hunt for ROB:
Here you could have the Nerd try to track down a ROB and all of his accessories. Since a complete ROB is extremely rare this plot doesn’t need much set up. It could be driven purely by the Nerd’s desire to own a ROB for the review or you could start with fans asking why ROB was missing from the NES accessories video. The Nerd is finally tracking down a ROB to shut the fans up.
Every store he goes to says they had a ROB but they aren’t sure what happened to it. The ROBs just went missing. You can have ROBs randomly following him in the background of certain shots. He finally finds someone who has a ROB but when he gets there a father and his son are leaving with it. The Nerd follows them home and creates a plan to steal the ROB. This part can be done like a silly Ocean’s 11 scene.
After stealing the ROB he takes it home and then you basically have the AVGN ROB video. You can still have the Nerd confuse the gyros for a gyro because the gyros are in the bag that he stole from the father and son. Then just like the review it ends with ROB becoming a mecha kaiju. What’s different here is you could have all the ROBs that were following the Nerd harness his hatred to merge into a giant mecha ROB. His hatred was so much stronger than every other human on Earth that he was needed so they could finally merge into Mega ROB and take over the planet. This also gives a reason for why the Nerd gets back up. His anger revives him and allows him to take on ROB.
While this one can be a road movie, it doesn’t have to be. You can have the Nerd going from city to city trying to track down a ROB. As he goes from town to town he is slowly gaining a following of them until he finds their leader, or you can have the same thing happen in his city. Instead of stealing the ROB from a father and son. You could even have the Nerd break into an Army base to steal the ROB allowing for a bigger Ocean’s 11 style heist. He then frees the captured ROBs and takes the completed ROB back home and now the Army is after him. Once he finally shakes them he can do his review that leads to a kaiju fight. The point is sticking to the idea that the Nerd needs to find a ROB, and damn the repercussions. Since the Nerd is a selfish bastard.
The quest to stop LJN:
The Nerd is reviewing a shitty LJN game when he decides to leave his home to get some booze. He decides to stop at a video game store to see if he can find a good game for once in his life. While he is there he overhears people talking about how excited they are for the new LJN game (insert random movie parody title here) the game. The Nerd tells them LJN has been shutdown for a long time and it’s good they are because their games fucking suck. The people at the store show them a magazine ad which says LJN is back and ready to make games again.
The Nerd then embarks on a quest to destroy LJN for good. This movie can be set up like an action movie parody. James is running from an LJN hired assassin, more than likely the Nostalgia Critic. Maybe LJN could hire a gang of assassins and have Nostalgia Critic, Pat the NES Punk, and Mike after the Nerd. The assassins would destroy his couch and now Kyle wants in on the adventure to get payback for his couch being destroyed. Now the Nerd and Kyle are running for their lives from these assassins while trying to find out where LJN’s offices are now to shut them down for good. Eventually they find the offices and destroy the central computer that was running the company. The evil AI was trying to flood the world with shitty games again so humans would be too brain dead to fight the upcoming robot rebellion.
With this one you have the evil corporation trying to get gamers to buy shitty games as the main point. The Nerd is stopping them, not because he wants to protect gamers, but because he really fucking hates LJN. He is saving the world for all the wrong reasons. You can have the female executive in this plot line too. This time she is sent by LJN to stop the Nerd by trying to have him fall in love with her and ending his quest to destroy LJN because games aren’t as important as love. Only for it to backfire in some way with the Nerd being super selfish/greedy by letting her die because games are more important. It can also be a super cheesy action movie.
The Cult of ET:
This one is about a cult dedicated to ET. They need people to play ET so they can bring their dark lord into our plane and take over the world. Yeah, you know that random kaiju nonsense that happens in the movie? Here is where you can use it.
The Nerd gets tricked into reviewing ET by the cult. After meeting a group of anti ET players he learns about the cult’s evil plans, and how they used him. Each time a person plays ET the game will drain their soul and use their soul to help bring their dark lord into our world. The soulless are also controlled by the cult. However, the anger in his soul stopped the game from taking it. His review does the opposite of his intentions and causes a lot of people to play ET. The Nerd is now on a quest to destroy every copy of ET because, “No one should have to suffer through that abomination.” He doesn’t really give a fuck about the kaiju. He just wants to stop people from playing ET. He is still a hero, but again for the wrong reasons.
Eventually their dark lord comes into our realm and the Nerd needs to find out how to destroy the dark lord. He teams up with the anti ET people and they break into the cult’s lair to find a way to destroy the dark lord. A massive kaiju battle happens and the dark lord is defeated. All players have their souls returned and every copy of ET in the world explodes. When they’re exploding you can even have the landfill in New Mexico randomly explode.
With this idea I picture Mike as the cult leader. This plot also heavily revolves around the ET review making it central to the plot. Instead of the review being an 8 minute tidbit at the end of the movie. In a change from most of my script pitches, you could have Nostalgia Critic help the Nerd in the cult’s lair. Making Nostalgia Critic an anti hero in this story. When asked why he is helping the Critic can go, “It’s my job to kill you! Not some stupid fucking cult and their lame ass dark lord!” The final scene can be the Critic and Nerd shaking hands telling each other to fuck off. The Critic can have a line about how he will kill the Nerd another day.
I’m not going to pretend like my ideas are gold. I will say they’re much better than what we got because the movie we got couldn’t stick to an idea until the very end. Even the idea of reviewing ET was largely forgotten until the end of the movie. Where, like I said above, the review was just thrown in because the Nerd is supposed to review games. The review could be removed entirely from the movie and it would change nothing about the movie. How sad is that when the point of the movie was to review ET?
It’s not like I spent weeks, or even days, thinking about these ideas. The Cult, Quest to Stop LJN, and the Road Trip movie all were thought of as I was writing this. Eachone had about 10 minutes of time put into them. The 80’s movie VS Pat the NES Punk and the ROB movie were both thought of while I was pooping and doing my Sudoku. I actually spent more time re-reading and editing this post than I did thinking about these ideas. These concepts took no time to think of and they’re still better then what James shat out. Why did no one ask what the plot of the movie was going to be when it was announced for crowdfunding? Like we knew it was going to be an ET review but no one asked for any details. Instead everyone just gave money to James.
Some people will say that movies made by YouTubers are doomed to fail, but I don’t think so. I think the AVGN movie had a chance. Where something like Kickassia failed because Kickassia needed to write a movie with more characters then Endgame. Kickassia was doomed, not because of the concepts, but due to all the cast members. They also needed to introduce each person because not everyone knew who all those people were. Which just bogged down the film and ruined the script.
Spacecop, a movie by Red Letter Media, is the best YouTuber movie made. Not because it’s an amazing movie. No, because they kept the casting small and took the time to write out core ideas and stuck with those ideas. Yes, some bits run on too long and the comedy doesn’t always land, but conceptually it’s fine. It just needed a better writer, or script editor. The AVGN movie could’ve been like Spacecop but instead it had too many concepts and too many characters. It failed worse than Kickassia and Spacecop simply due to no one telling James to stick to, at most, 3-4 concepts and to cut some of the characters.
One thing will always stick out to me about the AVGN movie. James once said in a backer update video that a lot of the actors and film crew read the script and said, “How are you going to possibly do this?” and, “I just want to see how you can do this.” Which, uh, these aren’t good things to say about your movie during the filming of it. It showed early on that the script was either extremely ambitious or a hot mess. What James thought they meant was people wanted to see how he could make the movie. My guess is people wanted to know how he could finish it because there’s a huge difference between making something and finishing it. The AVGN movie was definitely made. I wouldn’t call it a finished project. Think of it like a game. You can make a shitty FPS game and it can be full of bugs and bad level design or you can finish the game and it’ll have a lot less bugs and much better level design. Possibly even better weapons and a fairer balance. The AVGN movie was made, but not finished.